In life there are those rare moments when time stops, the mouth falls wide open, tears streaming down the face. The sheer enormity of the absolute joy takes us over and we dissolve into a sense of perfection, a sense of meaning – an inherent and unchangeable connection to the deepest seat of peace, the purest state of happiness.
This book is born out of one of those such moments and is a rabble rousing clarion call for the remembrance of our innate sense of perfection. The book is a personal unravelling of years of psychological experimentation. It is a far cry from a philosophical musing. It is an invitation into a life that has been offered up as a living experiment in search of the true meaning of freedom.
Pillar 1. Is all about coming into peace and it focuses on the principles and practices of emotional intelligence.
BOOK SAMPLE: Pillar One – Peace
FreeMind Peace is not about continuously walking around with a simpering smile on your face, enjoying endless happiness. It is not unending joy. You will still get angry, depressed, frustrated, jealous, and insecure. All of these emotions will move through us at times. Peace comes from developing your emotional fitness. Physical fitness is measured by the speed with which your heart rate returns to its’ resting rate once it has been pumping at full pelt. Emotional fitness is the speed with which you return to peace and love once you have been upset, scared and angry. How quickly can you bring yourself back from an adrenalin-fuelled, fight-and-flight response? That is the question.
Fortunately, just like physical fitness, emotional fitness can be developed with exercise and practice. The practices, described at the end of this chapter are designed to start this healing process and can transform your relationship with life, no matter what difficulties or problems have been thrown at you.
Deprogramming and Emotional Intelligence
Our capacity to return to peace rapidly after getting upset is hugely dependent on the degree to which we have cleared out all of our old upsets and resentments. As a result of a history of NO moments, most of us have large stores of negative emotions, resistances, and frustrations. As I described earlier most of us are intrinsically in opposition to ourselves and the natural process of life and death.
All of these negative emotions and limiting ideas hold us back and massively skew our perception of the world. This often results in living in impoverished and unfulfilling ways, where we needlessly struggle and suffer. Before we can go onto experience more freedom and happiness in our lives, we must first systematically go through a process of deprogramming any thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and identities that are blocking our ability to be happy. This is all about bringing peace to our inner world. The driving force in FreeMind Peace is Emotional Intelligence.
With Emotional Intelligence it is clear that deprogramming and coming back to peace isn’t about condemning any part of you or pushing aspects of yourself away. This, in fact, is more about bringing love and compassion to every part of you and your life. It is about letting your defense mechanisms know that you are finally ready to know the truth. It is about:
Thinking every thought that was once too difficult to think.
Feeling the feelings that were once too difficult to feel.
Saying the things that were once too difficult to say.
This process isn’t about making you feel bad about yourself but rather reassuring all those frozen parts of yourself that you are safe now. Using the FreeMind Peace Practices you can work through your uppermost layers of NO, and this will help you to:
Directly secure, support and see your whole self with love
Bring yourself back into alignment with the vibration of YES.
When this work is successful, we typically begin to feel gratitude for everything that has ever happened to us. This is no longer about acceptance and forgiveness. It goes way beyond that. We begin to see that everything that has ever happened to us is an essential part of who we are. We begin to see how we are a part of everything in the world, and that everything in the world is part of us. We are intrinsically part of the flow of life. We have trust or what some people may refer to as faith. We are peaceful and fear no longer has the same hold on us. By some descriptions this is all about approaching life from a more enlightened perspective.
In Buddhism, one description of enlightenment translates as extirpation of fear. Extirpation is extinguishing a flame by removing the fuel or substance on which it burns. So, instead of blowing out a candle, the oxygen in a room would be sucked out. Without any external or internal force, the flame simply fades and disappears. Extirpation of fear and resistance comes from the gentle dissolving of the NO state.
Pillar 2 is all about coming into power and is focused on the principles and practices of success psychology.
BOOK SAMPLE: Pillar Two – Power
Pillar 1 is all about clearing away the negative beliefs and feelings that might be holding you back, so that you can be at peace with every part of yourself. Once you are able to accept and love yourself, you are ready for the next stage of the process, FreeMind Power, which focuses on harnessing the power of the mind and its capacity to be conditioned.
Your unconscious is a vast storehouse of capability waiting to be given a chance to shine, and so Pillar 2 is all about learning to reprogram yourself with positive and inspiring thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, so that you can unleash your full and glorious potential. This is what I call ‘Success Psychology,’ and with those powerful and positive beliefs in place, you can then rest in your natural perfection, trusting that you are the perfect person in the perfect place with the perfect skills to do exactly what is called for. This is the second YES of the Triple YES.
This process is all about your beliefs. For example: What do you currently believe about yourself? How are you with work? Love? Money? Health? Remembering names? Getting up in the morning? Mathematical ability? Drawing pictures? Playing musical instruments? How old do you feel?
What you believe and what you expect totally affects how well you perform. Learning how to use Success Psychology to reprogram your mind and bring out the best from yourself is what FreeMind Power is all about. What follows are a number of case studies, experiments and stories that I hope will show you the power that you have to bring real and lasting change to your life.
The principles of Success Psychology
By thinking and feeling differently, we are able to live our lives with new beliefs and ideas about who we are and what we do. Using these techniques, you can make changes in your life to create the life that you want. The principles are simple:
Connect deeply with the thoughts and feelings associated with being the kind of person that you want to be.
Believe you are that person in potential and that you are becoming that person more and more every day.
Repeat to yourself some of the vision statements (see resources at the end of this chapter) that support these empowered ways of thinking, feeling, and being.
Remember that your greatest potential has always been inside you. It is simply waiting for you to align with it.
Be your potential now by choosing and prioritizing new behaviors that are aligned with you being your best.
Ageing is all in the mind
Ellen Langer, from Harvard, conducted one of my favorite studies on mind reprogramming in 1979, described in her brilliant book Counter Clockwise, which demonstrates the power of belief. A group of men aged 75 were taken to a ranch and asked to pretend that they were 20 years younger. The ranch was freshly decorated in a fashion in keeping with 20 years earlier; old TV shows were piped in, old newspapers were reprinted, and the men encouraged to speak about their old jobs and their families, in ways which all supported the notion that they were 20 years younger.
During that time many amazing things occurred but one of the most compelling findings were the ‘before’ and ‘after’ photographs that were taken of these men. A panel of objective judges thought the men looked considerably younger in the ‘after’ photos. In addition, a system of medical age markers (i.e. blood pressure, cholesterol, energy levels, strength, posture, perception, cognition, memory, and many more advanced tests) was used to assess the levels of ageing of the men before and after. After only one week, most of the men showed some reversals of the aging process, some of which could be described as rapid reversals.
In this extraordinary piece of research, the following maxim becomes clear: What we focus on, what we believe, the words we use, and the way we live conditions us to experience ourselves and the world in a certain way. Reprogramming involves using that feature of the human mind and taking responsibility for our own conditioning. By learning how to build empowering beliefs we can radically affect what we perceive, how we feel, and how we perform. Otherwise our world is a reflection of our unconscious and potentially limiting beliefs and that can cloud everything as the following story demonstrates.
Our beliefs create our reality
A wise old man is sitting on an old bench just outside of his village when a traveler approached him. The traveler tells him that he is weary of traveling and looking for a nice place to settle down. The traveler asks the old man what the people are like in his village. The old man replies by asking the traveler what the people were like where he has come from. The traveler explains that in the last village he visited, people were mean, negative, unhelpful, untrustworthy, and generally unpleasant. The old man sighs and says that the traveler would find most of the people in this village much the same. The traveler lowers his eyes and decides to continue his search elsewhere.
The next day the old man is sitting there again and another traveler approaches him and asks him the same question. Once again, the old man asks him what the people were like where he has come from. The traveler explains that people were generally lovely, positive, helpful, trustworthy, and pleasant. The old man smiles widely, welcomes the man into the village and explains that he would find most of the people in this village much the same.
We find what we expect because what we see is a projection of who we are and what we believe.
The principles of reprogramming
The brain constantly filters reality and only lets us become consciously aware of things that fit our model of the world. For instance, you are not consciously aware of all the information that is coming to your mind at the moment. While you have been reading, it hasn’t been relevant so your inner mind hasn’t bothered to let you be conscious of it. And that might be a car going by outside, the washing machine rumbling away in the background, or the feeling of your toes in this moment. That data (sensory feelings) has been arriving in your brain this whole time but it has been filtered out. So, it’s worth considering what other aspects of yourself might currently be out of your conscious awareness. Maybe you have the capacity to be an even more amazing lover, an incredible snowboarder, a multi-linguist, a storyteller or an inspirational speaker? Reprogramming works by drawing your attention to previously unrecognized potential.
Humans have on average 60,000 thoughts a day and most of those thoughts are the same thoughts we had the day before. We have a habit of programming ourselves everyday. For example, we might tell ourselves that we can’t sing, we are no good at directions, or can’t cope without a certain amount of sleep every night. We might have unnecessarily fixed ideas about how good we are at speaking in public, parking cars or relationships. Reprogramming involves us connecting to more belief in our abilities.
Pillar 3 is all about connecting to our purpose and focuses on the principles and practices of oneness philosophy.
BOOK SAMPLE: Pillar Three – Purpose
Peace and power (Pillars 1 and 2) are important but if they are not connected to a greater purpose, real, and lasting happiness can still elude us. Therefore Pillar 3 is about connecting everything you do with a greater sense of purpose, and exploring the deeper aspects of what it really means to be part of a singular field of consciousness. Here we examine what I call ‘Oneness Philosophy’ to understand how our full and complete self-expression plays a part in the grand purpose of the evolution of the universe. As you begin to reconnect more to this perspective, unconditional love and happiness spreads through your whole life. We are filled with a light and a joy that is immediately obvious to everyone we come into contact with.
To be clear, Pillar 3 isn’t about reconnecting to oneness. That connection can never be severed. It is simply about reconnecting your awareness of the interconnected nature of life. When we go from perceiving ourselves as a small, disconnected, limited and fearful personality to understanding that we are the large, connected, unlimited and joyful universality everything begins to make sense. From there we can truly see the beauty and perfection in everything. This is the final YES of the Triple YES. This is the final pillar of absolute happiness.
Oneness at the atomic level
Our conscious minds have a limited capacity to perceive ourselves as being part of the singular field of consciousness. Fortunately science has now beautifully ratified what the ancient philosophers knew all those thousands of years ago. When I discovered that subatomic physics demonstrated that everything is interconnected, interdependent, and balanced, my epiphany felt completely supported and explained by science. The truth of all things, including us, is that everything is made up of atoms. Atoms are infinitesimally small. So small, in fact, that if you wanted to see the atoms that make up the parts of an orange, you would have to magnify that orange many times over. You would have to make it vast. In fact, if you made it the size of the Earth, each atom would still only be the size of a cherry in your hand.
Stop for a moment and consider how many cherries it would take to build a model of your house, or maybe a model of the town where you live? What about a model of the UK, Europe, or USA, or how many cherries it would take to fill the Pacific Ocean? Yes, inside every orange there are as many atoms as you would need numbers of cherries to build a model of the world. So, yes, atoms are very, very small, but even more amazing is that scientists have discovered that inside the atom there is a vast universe of space (about 99.99999999 percent of the atom’s weight/mass is in the nucleus). The nucleus is a tiny, but heavy, speck in the middle of a vast expanse of comparative space.
To give you some idea of that scale, if an atom was magnified, so that it was the size of the dome in London’s St Paul’s Cathedral (100ft across), then the nucleus would still only be the size of a grain of sand in the middle. This space however is not empty. It is filled with rapidly spinning electrons (light) circling around the center. Another way of seeing the scale would be to imagine a cat sat swinging a bee around itself on a piece of thread that was half a mile long. Yep, in every one of your cells, there are tens of millions of atoms, which are mainly spacious electromagnetic fields of light moving at 186,000 miles per second (at that speed light takes only eight minutes to travel 93 million miles from the sun to earth). You are made purely of light. That is what everything is made of.
Space and stuff
To further illustrate the scale, imagine a bowl of puffed rice cereal (for example, Rice Krispies). The bowl would appear full but if you tipped the cereal out onto a surface and then flattened it with a rolling pin, the puffed grains of rice would soon be reduced to powder, which would fit easily into one teaspoon. And that is true of everything but the scale is much more extreme. So, a world made of Rice Krispies may appear big but if all the space were squashed out of it, the actual ‘stuff’ or hard ‘matter,’ would compress to a much smaller size. The cereal analogy is useful for helping us understand the concept but the reality is much more exciting.
In the atomic arena, the ratio between space and stuff is so extreme that most people have trouble conceiving of the scale. I know I do. Science tells us that if everything on Earth was squashed down and contracted back to its weighty atomic nucleus (had all the space removed), all the matter of the known universe, would fit into the palm of a human hand! They reckon it would be the size of a pea. Yes, that’s not just the Earth but also all the other planets and stars too! That should give you some idea of just how spacious we really are. We are vast expanses of mainly space, filled with extraordinarily rapidly spinning electromagnetic energy.
It is hard to imagine how heavy that pea would be. Just the weight of all the people in the UK or the USA standing on your hand is hard enough to comprehend. What about the weight of the Earth and the sun and that is just our solar system. The mind boggles to think of all that weight in something the size of a pea. Imagine how compact it would be – and very hot too. Apparently at the point of the big bang when all of the matter was contracted, this very hot and heavy pea-sized ball would have been 18 billion, million, million, million degrees Fahrenheit. That is also very hard to comprehend. However, the following helps put this into perspective.
Imagine placing a soccer-ball-sized sphere of stone into a fire and leaving it there until it went red hot, all the way through to its center. If you removed it from the fire, it would take a long time to cool down. After a while the surface of the stone would be cool but the middle would still be incredibly hot. Well, this describes the Earth perfectly. This stone sphere has been out of that fire for over 13.7 billion years and yet it still hasn’t fully cooled down. The surface is cool enough to live on, but at the core it is still molten. What an extraordinary heat it must have been to begin with for it still, after all these years to be that hot on the inside?
What gets really fascinating about the atomic world is how that space and light behave. Traditional science, which sees things as distinct and separate, cannot reconcile the true nature of what happens in the atom. Inside the atom, all the particles behave as if they are all permanently connected. Even when they are seemingly separate and acting independently, they respond in correlation with each other and at simultaneous times. So, it isn’t like communication travels from one side of the atom to the other to affect change. The changes happen instantaneously. These findings completely challenge traditional scientific models of understanding the world but support the principle of interconnected oneness that the ancients have been talking about for millennia. In other words, you, me, this book, that tree, and that office building over there are all part of the same stuff and intrinsically connected as parts of a greater whole.
There is one fascinating experiment9 in particular, which has drawn huge global attention to these phenomena. Scientists managed to split a particle of light (a photon) into two particles. They then shot both ‘twin’ particles in opposite directions down 7 miles of fiber-optic cabling. At the end of the cable, there were a series of junctions where the particles had the choice to go left or right. These particles were now separated (according to the standard mechanical understanding of the world) by over 14 miles, but at each junction, every time, they both acted in complete correlation. They made their way through the duplicate junction maze in exactly the same way, at exactly the same time, every single time.
The scientists call this quantum entanglement, and it has rocked the foundations of mechanical science. On the atomic level, once something has been joined it remains connected and continues to interact interdependently, even though to our senses it appears separate. Bear in mind that everything that makes us up and everything in the known universe was one very small sphere of intensely connected matter. There was a time when we truly were one with everything. Just like the photon they split. Now things seem separate, but we are still connected. Science doesn’t know how yet, but they have proven this to be so. They have now tested these synchronized connections over much larger distances and the truth of universal interconnection is being born out.
So to recap:
1. Light is in everything; it is the substance of all matter.
2. Light is the power that drives everything.
3. Light is permanently connected. In other words, it knows what every other part of itself is doing and responds accordingly, immediately.
By that description light (everything/God) is omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient. This scientific knowledge totally ratified my firsthand experience of the interconnected oneness, which I described in Part I.
Does that mean you are not in this universe but instead actually a part of this universe? Yes!
Does this mean that you are part of a singular field of reality that cannot be threatened, wrong, out of place, inadequate, lost or broken? Yes!
Does that mean that whatever you have ever thought that is contrary to that idea is an imaginary inadequacy that may be unnecessarily causing you trouble? Yes!
Does that mean that by some description you are God? Yes!
Does that mean that you shouldn’t get too excited because so is your carpet? Yes!
Could it be that if you aligned yourself with the experience of the universe and yourself as part of that perfection then you would relax and have a much better time of it? Yes!
Is it possible that you could do that now? Yes.
Is it easy? No.
The spiritual journey
It was amazing to discover that, without the science to back them up, the ancients had just as difficult time conveying these supernatural truths. And so, I began to look at spiritual texts differently. I began seeing them as attempts to convey these wonderful and simple enlightening truths. I started seeing through the metaphors and understanding the beauty in the wisdom they were trying to promote. One day I asked myself the question, ‘Well, if God or the universe is really just another world for “light,” how might the Bible read if, wherever it said “God” or talked about the world, I replaced it with the word “light” instead?’
To answer the question, I picked up a Bible and the opening sentence of Genesis made me laugh aloud. I didn’t need to replace anything. The Bible is packed full of references to the light and being at one with it: ‘Let there be light,’ ‘be a light unto yourself,’ turn to the light,’ I am the light of the lord,’ ‘at-one-ment,’ to mention just a few. This was an absolute revelation to me. All my life I had dismissed religion as nonsense and here I was realizing that it was my confusion around the concept of God that was causing the problem.
I remember when I first dismissed religion as nonsense. I was seven and attending West House School in Birmingham in the UK. There was an act of worship and we were being told about the devil tempting Jesus in the dessert. I just didn’t buy it. Something about a separate demon didn’t feel right, so I dismissed the whole thing as nonsense. However, my experience might have been quite different if someone had explained that spirituality is about our journey to come to terms with our natural selfish desires; or had explained that the story (like all great stories) was a way of helping me to realize that true happiness lies in giving rather than taking. Had it been explained to me that we have fear inside ourselves, which can twist us into competitive and controlling demons that bring only darkness to the world, well then maybe, just maybe I would have understood that religion had something to offer me.
That is the spiritual journey and it is the source of the greatest happiness we can find. That is the home of all true freedom, but that journey itself (like all good stories) is fraught with great difficulty and danger. This is the hero’s journey that we are all on.
The meaning of life is to go from selfish to selfless.
To operate from love, not fear.
Setting out on the journey
Many people live and die without ever discovering the joy and happiness that comes from consciously taking this journey. In all of the major religions of the world, ancient esoteric texts all speak about oneness and enlightenment. In Judaism, there is the Kabbalah, in Islam there is Sufism, in Christianity there is the Gospel according to Thomas, and the non-dual text called the Cloud of Unknowing. In Hinduism there is Advaita and the extraordinarily precise teachings of Kashmir Shaivism. In Chinese philosophy, there is Taoism. In Buddhism, the philosophy centers around theories and practices about oneness and enlightenment. It seems to me that as religions became more organized, they became more dogmatic and some of these core simple truths got lost along the way. However, when you study some of the older, more esoteric texts the similarities between all of these approaches is stupefying. The single message really is deafening.
How the spiritual journey is described varies wildly and ideas about the best way to walk that path also vary massively, but underneath the cultural differences, the journey of the human heart and its’ liberation from fear is the same the world over. Water is the same the world over too, but internationally goes by many different names. How it is fetched, carried, and treated varies hugely too. Some people have to traipse 5 miles a day and back just to fill their buckets with enough water to survive, while others have water pumped directly into their homes. Some people’s natural water supply has dried up, and other people’s water has become infected or poisonous and has capacity to do them great harm. In some places, the water has had extra things added to it to make it ‘better for you,’ according to what certain people think you need. In some places, the water has been recycled and regurgitated and treated so many times that it is full of things that were never there to begin with. Some creatures have lived in water their whole lives and therefore never question it, while others are so immersed in it they don’t even know it exists.
Spirituality and the path of becoming self-aware go by many different names too. How religion and God are described worldwide also varies vastly. It goes by many different names and is fetched, carried, valued, and understood differently all over the world. Some people see it, some people don’t, some people were born into it, so they don’t question it, and in some places people add things to spirituality to make it different and ‘better for you,’ according to their idea of what is good for you. Many of us have also seen people be so poisoned by it, that we wouldn’t want to go anywhere near it. It is worth being careful where we get our water but it is equally important to respect and understand that while people might be using different names for their spiritual journey, while they may have different practices or seemingly different values, we are all on the same path and every path is deserving of love and respect.
These are the three pillars of Absolute happiness.
Tom Fortes Mayer’s Biography
Tom Fortes Mayer is a Harley Street hypnotherapist, author, international speaker and creator of the FreeMind 3 pillar approach to happiness. He is passionate about helping people bring more peace, power and purpose to their lives. Having experienced a life-changing epiphany himself, he has dedicated his life to the art and science of creating similar liberating epiphanies for others.
His greatest passion is found in combining hypnosis techniques, ritual and music to make people’s transformation more magical, sacred, celebratory and heartfelt. He truly believes that the process of bringing your best to life should be a total, wide-eyed ride of pleasure, passion and joy. This underpins everything he does whether he is running retreats, planning inspirational celebrations, going into prisons to reduce reoffending, into corporations to increase effectiveness, into schools to increase engagement and to Nigeria to combat corruption. He is a regular contributor on radio, has contributed to various television programmes, has spoken at conferences internationally and is passionate about bringing happiness tools and integrity-based leadership skills into the mainstream.
He is also the founder of the FreeMind Project Charity (reg 1126454), an organisation dedicated to bringing about an unconditionally loving and logical revolution where the beautiful practices and principles of emotional intelligence, success psychology and oneness philosophy are brought to the wider public in engaging, practical and playful ways.
Tom Fortes Mayer’s Story in his own words
Hello, my name is Tom Fortes Mayer,
Since the year 2000 I have been on a mission to understand why some people can, in one instant , suddenly decide to change their life for good.
On January 2nd of the year 2000, I had a massive life changing moment. I experienced a moment of such complete and utter bliss that I saw the world totally differently and I haven’t looked back since. In that moment I understood that all my worries, stresses, upsets, struggles and challenges were all born out of one flawed idea. My whole life and all my maddening machinations, manipulations and strategies were built on the idea that I was a separate being that needed to struggle to survive.
Through an incredible set of coincidences I had been blessed with a moment of clarity that broke through all my conditioned ways of seeing the world. In that one moment I felt connected to everything and everyone that had ever existed. My sense of I was now a sense of all. There was a continuous sensation of oneness with everything that stretched in every direction simultaneously. There was no here and there, no then and now. In that moment I sensed that all of the world’s struggles and all of the human suffering (like my own) were all also driven by this idea of separation and survival.
When we operate from the separate and afraid self we go on to cause so much unnecessary difficulty and destruction in our lives and in the world at large. All of my suffering and seeming dysfunction was simply a reflection of a set of inaccurate ideas that I had been holding onto (unknowingly) that were throwing me off-balance. That imbalance made me behave in (fearful) ways that prevented me from feeling the full force of bliss and perfection that is available to all of us at any given moment.
In that experience of clarity, with those limited ideas at least on hold, I felt the joyful perfection of the universe coursing through every fragment of my extended universal being. I was not part of the universe. There was no separation anymore. I was the universe. What was exquisitely magical was the familiarity I felt at that moment. I was finally home. That was so telling. I knew this place at my core. That was me. Not that other guy.
The feeling of oneness was immense. To be all things at once is overwhelmingly enlivening. I experienced the eternal nature of existence and for a moment all fear evaporated from my field of experience. The bliss was all-consuming and the pointlessness of all of my past pain and effort were hilariously laughable yet I was painfully aware of all of the times I had suffered and struggled needlessly. That became so clear and so pointless that it hurt so deeply- I was brought to my knees as my heart broke wide open.
The compassion I felt for myself and all the people in the world suffering was too much to bear. In that field of connection my pain was their pain and, much more overwhelmingly, their pain was my pain. I felt these two emotions of grief and relief at exactly the same time. The sense of relief was so profound that a deep laugh erupted uncontrollably out of me and I laughed harder than I ever have before, and at exactly the same time I wept inconsolably with the deepest waves of grief and compassion pulling me apart. I was alone on top of one of the most beautiful hills in the world surrounded by sea and colour and I disappeared into the experience completely. I melted flat down onto the ground and let it all in and let it all out. This was the sweetest moment of my life and I still feel those shock waves in my now open heart. I am sure by many people’s perspective it would have looked like a complete and utter breakdown. I guess that is what it was. A total breakdown of an idea, of a position, of a worldview.
What was being experienced was clear and pure, complete and perfect.
It totally changed my life in an instant!
Since that moment I have been passionate about connecting people to their perception of the interconnectedness of life, and thereby helping them overcome their challenges and their fears very quickly.
FreeMind the social business (not just for profit)produces state of the art personal and professional training and development products and makes them affordable for everyday people. FreeMind is also the home of my private practice and coaching & training consultancy.
Proceeds from the success of FreeMind support the FreeMind Project.
Huge amounts of care and attention goes into everything we do.
I hope you find it enormously valuable.
Tom Fortes Mayer
Founder & Creative Director |FreeMind
1. I am not good enough
As we grow up there are some key stages of our development that create a very strong sense that we are not good enough. Many people hold onto feelings of being inadequate, which keep them from truly applying themselves. This stops them from being intimate with others and often drives destructive and competitive behaviours that make it much harder to be happy. Overcoming and resolving these feelings of inadequacy and coming back to a place of self value and self belief is the work of the first FreeMind Pillar. To understand more about these principles see the film below.
Pillar 1 is all about learning Emotional Intelligence
2. Something external is the solution
As we are growing up we are bombarded with messages and instructions that lead us to believe that the answer to our challenges is all about something external to us. This is materialism but it takes many forms. Yes, it can be the idea that the more stuff we have the happier we will be, but it can also be about the fantasy that the perfect guru will show us the way. Or it could be the belief that when we lose weight we will be ok, or when we can do every yoga pose under the sun, we will be alright. Sometimes we reach for food, drink, drugs or even more books and workshops to make us feel ok. Pillar 2 of the FreeMind approach to life is all about resting in your perfection and finding the answers and happiness deep inside you. It is about unleashing your greatest potential, bringing your best to life and shining brightly as your glorious self- fully adequate, fully ready, in flow and fully alive.
Pillar 2 is all about learning Success Psychology
3. I am separate and alone
In the first six months of our early development, we do our best to make sense of the new world we find ourselves in. At that time, we perceive ourselves as a separate and alone entity. The ideas (fears and defence mechanisms) created around that, can go on to affect our ability to be free and happy later on in life. The work of the FreeMind Pillar 3 is to dissolve these feelings of separation and aloneness and the associated fears and resistances that can hold us back. Modern physics has actually shown us that we are in fact all part of an interconnected and inter-dependent field of awareness that we can learn to work in harmony with. The Pillar 3 practices enable you to go from feeling disconnected and fearful to feeling connected and loving. This is both an inner and outer journey. On the inside it is about relaxing the system and seeing beyond the personality. On the outside it is about building community, working collaboratively, generously contributing and regularly celebrating life. All of this is a fundamental part of being able to enjoy more success and happiness in your life.
Pillar 3 is all about learning Oneness Philosophy
How limiting beliefs hold us back
A short film about why we unconsciously choose to block our own happiness